Next Up: Narcissism

Episode 20: What to Do When Your Loved One Is With a Narcissist

“When we talk about narcissistic abuse, we understand that this form of abuse is very nuanced and hard to identify as an outsider,” says Dr. Z. This episode dives into the emotional and complex challenge of supporting someone in a narcissistic abusive relationship, as Dr. Z unpacks the intricate dynamics at play.
 
Narcissists often start with a phase known as “love bombing,” which can make it hard for friends and family to spot the red flags early on. This initial charm gradually gives way to isolation and control, leaving the person feeling confused and trapped in the relationship.
 
Dr. Z sheds light on the subtle tactics narcissists use to distance their partners from their support networks and systematically dismantle their sense of self. For those watching from the outside, it can be incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking, often leaving them wondering, “How can I help without pushing them further away?”
 
Instead of confronting your loved one, which could inadvertently strengthen the narcissist’s hold, Dr. Z recommends offering steady, unconditional support. She highlights the importance of being a consistent presence, creating a safe space for them to return to when they’re ready to break free. Through practical advice and empathetic guidance, Dr. Z emphasizes that patience and persistence are essential in helping your loved one eventually escape their abusive relationship.
 
Quotes
“Coercive control is very difficult for somebody on the outside of the relationship to identify.” (02:40 | Dr. Z) 
“Narcissistic abuse, especially that kind of coercive control, is often not visible to the outside world, even to those closest to you. What people on the outside are really starting to see is this very slow, insidious stripping of their loved one’s self-identity. It’s not sudden; it’s gradual. This started from day one, in the love bombing stage.” (15:50 | Dr. Z) 
“Since your loved one is being manipulated, controlled, and abused—and as the relationship progresses, so does the abuse—that will happen. That’s a given.” (16:59 | Dr. Z) 
“That’s a horrible feeling. A truly horrible feeling—watching someone you love slowly start to slip away from who they are, and from you as well. What you need to do, and as difficult as this is going to be, is to stay connected with them no matter what happens in their relationship. No matter how different or disconnected they become, do not disconnect from them.” (32:19 | Dr. Z) 
 
Links
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
 
Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter
Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops
Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 19: Navigating Relationship Stress with Liz Earnshaw

“If you and your partner are experiencing friction, consider whether there are things going on in your lives—whether it’s a few really big chronic issues, a lot of little constant acute issues, or a mix of both—that could be contributing to this,” advises Liz Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified Gottman therapist, and founder of A Better Life Therapy.
 
In this episode, Dr. Z shifts the focus from narcissistic relationships to the everyday stressors that impact healthy partnerships. Joined by Liz, known for her popular Instagram account “@Liz Listens” and her books “I Want This to Work” and “Till Stress Do Us Part,” they delve into how external pressures can fuel relational friction. 
 
What are the stressors in your life that might be affecting your relationship? Liz encourages couples to identify and list these stressors, a simple yet effective practice that can lead to greater empathy and cooperation. She also discusses different partner types—such as avoidant or indifferent—and shares concrete strategies for improving communication and setting healthy boundaries within your relationships. 
 
Liz introduces a structured approach to managing stress, helping couples distinguish between what they can shed, prevent, or adapt to. By aligning actions with core values and addressing how conflict avoidance with others can impact the relationship, she provides a roadmap for couples looking to strengthen their bond. These insights offer a practical guide for anyone aiming to build a resilient partnership rooted in clear communication, empathy, and intentional choices.
 
Quotes
“The first piece I think is really important is if you and your partner are experiencing friction, consider whether there are things going on in your lives—whether it’s a few really big chronic issues, a lot of little constant acute issues, or a mix of both—that could be contributing to this.” (05:10 | Liz Earnshaw) 
“What I’ve noticed with the couples I’m working with is that they're mismanaging the amount of stress they bring into their lives without considering the long-term repercussions. A lot of this stems from saying yes to too many things and putting immense pressure on ourselves to do more, accumulate more, and live a big life.” (20:20 | Liz Earnshaw) 
“One thing I think is really important for people to do is to consider their North Star. What I mean by that is, where are you and your partner heading as a family? Where do you want to be? This has a lot to do with your values. For example, if your North Star is to create a safe and secure family, build a stable financial future, or live an adventurous life, it should reflect what you and your partner value as a family—your combined family values.” (35:19 | Liz Earnshaw)
 
Links
Connect with Liz Earnshaw:
elizabethearnshaw.com
https://www.instagram.com/lizlistens/
Til Stress Do Us Part book: https://amzn.to/4dSHpPP
I Want this to Work book: https://amzn.to/3X3JXnw
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
 
Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter
Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops
Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 18: Are You Friends With a Narcissist?

“A lot of people don’t realize that there’s narcissistic abuse occurring in friendships because we don’t really think of it in that context,” says Dr. Z. When we talk about narcissistic abuse, it’s usually in the context of intimate or family relationships. This week, Dr. Z highlights an often-overlooked reality: it can happen in friendships too, and it can be just as insidious and psychologically damaging.
 
Dr. Z reveals that just like within intimate relationships, narcissistic friendships also begin with love bombing efforts. These may include excessive attention and adoration, gifts, and constant communication very early in the friendship. This helps to craft the illusion of the perfect friendship. Initially, you may feel as though this person is your twin soul. You can’t fathom how you ever existed without them up till now. However, over time, the love bombing ceases and they begin to engage in manipulative and passive aggressive behaviors. For example, they may undermine your success, not offer support when it’s most needed, or try to one-up you. A narcissistic friend will dominate conversations, often unloading their issues onto you without offering any real support in return. 
 
Another red flag Dr. Z points out is the use of silent treatments. This can leave you feeling confused and anxious, wondering for days what you did wrong. Narcissistic friends will consume your time, drain your energy, and possibly even your finances. It is their goal to isolate you from your existing friends and family so that you become increasingly dependent on the friendship. Dr. Z also touches on how narcissistic friends demand you meet their emotional, physical, or financial needs. And when you don’t comply? Expect guilt trips, gaslighting, silent treatments, and character bashing. 
 
This episode isn’t just about recognizing these abusive patterns; it’s also about finding a way out. Dr. Z shares practical advice on setting small, manageable boundaries and slowly reconnecting with your other relationships and interests. 
 
Escaping a narcissistic friendship is tough, but as Dr. Z reassures, it’s absolutely possible. The key is to focus on your well-being and remember that the narcissistic abuse you endured is never your fault. .
 
Quotes
“One of the things that narcissistic friends hate is seeing you succeed. They do not like your success because, for them, it doesn’t involve the narcissist, and they don’t have control over it. Success is a step towards autonomy, which they view as a threat. They see it as competition—something we’ll discuss separately—and a barrier to getting supply.” (06:59 | Dr. Z)
“Narcissists in friendships will align themselves with people that benefit them in some way.” (22:32 | Dr. Z) 
“Do not waste any breath or energy trying to defend your character when a narcissist is trying to smear it. That’s exactly what they want. The best thing to do is ignore it, not defend it, and let it ride out. The more you engage, the more control you’re giving up and handing over to them.” (34:16 | Dr. Z) 
“Healthy friendships do not involve constantly trying to one-up each other. They don’t involve making the other person feel horrible about themselves, being rude, or not talking to them for no reason. True, healthy friendships are a two-way street. Sometimes one person needs more, and the other needs less, and it goes back and forth. You respect each other, respect each other’s feelings, and you’re there for each other. If you can’t be there for someone, they understand that it’s not malicious.” (39:28 | Dr. Z) 
 
Links:
Get my FREE breathing exercise here  http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter
Register for my virtual workshops http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops
 
Books:
Find Your Calm http://www,drjaimezuckerman.com/books
Find Good Habit http://www,drjaimezuckerman.com/books
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 17: Surviving Romance Fraud with Benita Alexander

“I thought I met the man of my dreams, and he turned out to be one of the biggest con men in history,” shares Benita Alexander, a highly accomplished journalist and executive producer. In this episode, she joins Dr. Z to recount her harrowing experience with love fraud at the hands of Dr. Paolo Macchiarini. Benita’s story, featured in the Netflix documentary “Bad Surgeon: Love Under the Knife” and the Wondery podcast “Dr. Death,” serves as a chilling reminder that even the most intelligent and successful individuals can fall victim to the manipulative blueprint of narcissists. 
 
Benita met Macchiarini during a vulnerable period in her life. His charm and apparent empathy quickly drew her in, leading to a whirlwind romance. However, as their relationship progressed, red flags began to emerge, which Benita initially dismissed due to Macchiarini’s convincing explanations. 
 
Dr. Z and Benita explore the psychological impact of such a profound betrayal, emphasizing the difficulty of recognizing, and escaping from, a narcissistic abusive relationship. They discuss how factors such as intelligence and success do not necessarily immunize one from becoming vulnerable to this type of abuse. Benita’s courageous decision to go public with her story underscores the need to raise awareness about the dangers of people like Macchiarini, who exploit their victims’ trust for personal gain.
 
Exploring the complexities of narcissistic abuse, the insidious nature of love bombing, and the resilience required to rebuild one’s life after such a traumatic experience, this episode serves as both a cautionary tale and a source of inspiration for those who may find themselves entangled in similar situations.
 
Quotes
“Any narcissist’s worst fear is the collapse—falling from the pedestal, their reputation being destroyed.” (36:35 | Benita Alexander) 
“It takes so much courage for a woman to come forward and expose herself like that. And then, on top of it, to get attacked—it’s the reason people don’t talk about this kind of thing. That’s what’s so concerning to me because if we stay quiet and if women don’t feel comfortable enough to come forward and talk, it’s going to keep happening. These people—narcissists, con artists, sociopaths, whatever you want to call them—count on you being quiet. They count on you being too embarrassed and humiliated to talk. That’s why the lies keep escalating, because they don’t think they’re ever going to get caught.” (58:59 | Benita Alexander) 
“I think it’s also important to realize—very, very important—not to blame yourself. I mean, what was your crime? You fell in love. You wanted to trust the person you fell in love with, and that’s a very normal thing. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were vulnerable. When you’re vulnerable and you fall in love, there’s a reason they say love is blind. But you never expect something this extreme to happen. You never expect someone to be lying to you about literally everything."  (01:05:41 | Benita Alexander) 
 
Links
Connect with Benita Alexander:
https://www.benitaalexander.com/
Follow Benita Alexander on Instagram and Tiktok: @benitaalexander_official
Listen to her podcast on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFkA9DcX8W0&t=457s
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 16: Sex and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

“In a narcissistically abusive relationship, sex can become a tool of weaponry, a tool of control,” declares Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. In this episode, she joins Dr. Z to unpack the intricate relationship between sex and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
 
Dr. Balestrieri, founder of Modern Intimacy and host of the “Get Naked with Dr. Kate” podcast, delves into the subtle tactics of sexual coercion and emotional manipulation commonly used by someone with NPD. She discusses how, within these relationships, sex is used as a tool to seek validation, power, and control. The conversation also touches on the function and impact of infidelity and pornography in these relationship dynamics.
 
Listen to this episode of Next Up: Narcissism to get a deep and insightful look into the role of sex within Narcissistic Personality Disorder, offering valuable strategies for those who are affected by this type of abusive behavior. 
 
Quotes
“In a narcissistically abusive relationship, sex can become a tool of weaponry, a tool of control. It becomes bait, a way to keep someone suctioned into the relationship. It provides a false sense of security and can be a bomb used to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.” (03:13 | Dr. Kate Balestrieri) 
“When we understand narcissism, we recognize that it’s really about the person, organized in this fashion, trying to prop up a sense of self that they can feel okay about. At its core, narcissism is rooted in shame and self-loathing. Narcissists cope with these feelings by projecting various manufactured images. Sex becomes another tool they use to prop up that image for themselves and the world. It becomes a way for them to gain supply, attention, validation, control, and power.” (05:34 | Dr. Kate Balestrieri) 
“We have to remember that narcissism is a condition of objectification. With a fragmented sense of self, they objectify everyone in their life; everyone serves a purpose to bolster them up. For someone partnered with a narcissist, their partner serves a particular function. One of the key elements of objectification is instrumentality, where the person becomes an object or instrument for serving the narcissist.” (24:36 | Dr. Kate Balestrieri) 
 
Links
Connect with Dr. Kate Balestrieri:
TikTok @drkatebalestrieri https://www.tiktok.com/@drkatebalestrieri?lang=en
IG: https://www.instagram.com/drkatebalestrieri
Website: www.modernintimacy.com
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 15: Narcissistic Mothers and Their Adult Daughters

In this episode, Dr. Z delves into the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their adult daughters. She discusses how the behavior patterns of narcissistic mothers challenge societal norms of the mother/daughter relationship and have a profound impact on their daughters’ self-esteem and mental health.
 
Dr. Z also addresses the grieving process daughters of narcissistic mothers must go through once they come to accept the relationship will never be what they hoped for. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and offers practical strategies for managing these dynamics. 
 
Tune in to this episode of Next Up: Narcissism for Dr. Z’s compassionate and empowering insights, aimed at helping listeners break free from narcissistic abuse and move towards a healthier, happier life.
 
Quotes
“With narcissistic moms, they love their children in conditions. They love their children so long as the child is, at any age, doing what is expected of the narrative that has been given to them since birth. So, since birth, you get a narrative. You are to play that role your whole life. That role is meant to put you in a certain pattern that the narcissistic mom is able to control and manipulate. Because remember, with narcissists, the main goal of narcissistic behavior is to gain power and control, to take away your autonomy, to take away your sense of self.” (09:11 | Dr. Z) 
“Do narcissistic moms love their kids? They love them when they are performing as the narcissist wants them to perform. They love them so long as the child is doing what is expected of them.” (11:07 | Dr. Z) 
“Start to gain objectivity to your narcissistic mom’s behavior and the reality of who you are, because the reality of who you are is not connected to her. She’s just made you think that for so long. Your ability to make decisions independent of her exists. It always existed… Once you realize that you can exist separately from a narcissistic mom, your entire world opens up. You realize that you are capable of doing whatever you want to do, as long as you understand that you will never get the support that you want from your mom, unless it benefits her.” (37:40 | Dr. Z) 
 
Links
Get my FREE breathing exercise here! https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 14: Surviving and Thriving After Trauma Bonds with Dr. Nadine Macaluso

“I was in a quintessential trauma bond with my ex-husband, the ‘Wolf of Wall Street,’ Jordan Belfort,” says Dr. Nadine Macaluso. “It started, as most trauma bonds do, with love bombing and promises of love and adoration forever, along with extreme affection. It was very intense and fast-paced, and then it blew up like many trauma bonds do.” 
 
Dr. Nadine, also known as Dr. Nae, is an author and licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in trauma bonds, narcissistic abuse, complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and somatic therapy. In this episode, Dr. Nae joins Dr. Z to share her own personal story of narcissistic abuse survival, including the psychological, emotional, financial, and legal challenges she faced within her own relationship with Jordan Belfort. She discusses her healing journey, and how her experiences navigating her own trauma bonding put her on the path to help those in similar circumstances. Dr. Nae emphasizes that the abusive behavior of a partner is never the victim’s fault, and that there is always hope and a path to healing.
 
In addition to her extensive clinical work, Dr. Nae is the author of “Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Healing, and Escaping from Trauma Bonds.” Her work offers insights into identifying the signs of narcissistic abuse and how to break free from trauma bonds. 
 
This episode is a powerful message of hope and resilience, encouraging listeners to recognize their own worth and seek the support they need to reclaim their sense of self. 
 
Quotes
“When he first wrote the book, which later became a movie, I just remember thinking inside, ‘I survived this incredible Greek tragedy,’ because that’s what it always felt like—the depth of the pain I had endured. And now it’s entertainment. Inside, I just said to myself, ‘You know, Nadine,’—I fought and wrestled with myself—but then I said, ‘This is bigger than you, and you have to surrender to this.’” (18:43 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso) 
“We can’t build resiliency in isolation. The only way we can build authentic confidence is to approach what we fear. And so, with the help of people, never by myself, I just kept approaching life.” (27:20 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso) 
“It really wasn’t spoken about, and it’s so great that it is now because it is a very isolating experience with so much shame and embarrassment. There’s just so much to climb through to get out of it. Then you have children and financial dependency, and the court system, right? It works against all of us in breaking free and getting healthier. Yet, here we are today having this conversation. My book was a labor of love; it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. It was a very humbling experience.” (40:03 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso) 
“Trauma lives in the body. It’s an experience that overwhelms us, and our nervous system, unfortunately, integrates it… After a trauma bond, you feel so unsafe in the world. How do I get people to feel safe in their bodies? With breath work, grounding exercises, and really listening to their bodies. This helps them contain their feelings because there’s so much emotional dysregulation that happens. As we know, our thoughts and minds aren’t always our best friends. I always say the true self lives between your throat and your pelvic floor.” (42:08 | Dr. Nadine Macaluso) 
 
Links
Connect with Nadine Macaluso:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealdrnadine/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drnaelmft
Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Healing, and Escaping from Trauma Bonds: https://amzn.to/3KRssRF
Website: https://drnae.com/
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 13: High Conflict Personalities and Divorce with Rebecca Zung

“They actually thrive and enjoy being in this drama, trauma, and chaos, getting people stirred up,” says Rebecca Zung, describing high conflict personalities. In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Rebecca, a top-ranked trial lawyer, high conflict negotiator, and international bestselling author of “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win.”
 
Rebecca explains that while those with high conflict personalities will often demonstrate narcissistic traits, this does not necessarily mean they have a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of understanding the function of someone’s behavior, or the underlying “why” behind it. This helps when formulating responses and implementing boundaries with a high conflict individual. 
 
The episode covers Rebecca’s S.L.A.Y. (Strategy, Leverage, Anticipate, and You) method for negotiating with high conflict personalities, offering practical advice for those facing high conflict divorce or custody battles. Rebecca details each component of her SLAY method, highlighting the need to create a vision, build leverage within the dynamic, anticipate their next moves, and maintain a strong, self-focused mindset.
 
Packed with insights and how-to strategies, this episode of Next Up: Narcissism is a valuable resource for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities and narcissistic abuse.
 
Quotes
“A high conflict personality literally thrives on constantly stirring the pot in every area they can, all the time, no matter where they go. It’s almost like Pigpen in Charlie Brown, who always had that cloud around him. That’s how it is with a high conflict personality. Wherever they go, there’s always something brewing.” (05:21 | Rebecca Zung) 
“People with high conflict personalities, narcissistic personalities, or even just extreme narcissistic traits, they're not going to therapy and getting diagnosed. And if they do, it’s either court mandated, or they go once then they don’t come back again. They go to a million different therapists until they find one that’s going to buy into their bullshit. And that's what happens… And I think also, with social media, certain people don’t get away with certain things anymore. And people have more knowledge about it. So we’re hearing about it more. Are people misdiagnosed by society? Yeah, they are… Narcissism is a very distinct thing.” (10:52 | Dr. Z) 
“My S.L.A.Y. method is the blueprint. I call it a blueprint as well. It’s basically a roadmap to get exactly where you want to go, to win your negotiations, to win in court, to win in communication, whatever it is that you want to do. It’s a four-step playbook to help you visualize where you want to go and then just create the plan.” (20:44 | Rebecca Zung) 
 
Links
Connect with Rebecca Zung:
 
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=2303615&u=4279579&m=139677&urllink=&afftrack=
 
Slay Your Negotiation with a Narcissist: 
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=2319861&u=4279579&m=139677&urllink=&afftrack=
 
SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win:
https://amzn.to/3WibKBw
 
For the FREE Crush My Negotiation Prep Playbook:
https://winmynegotiation.com/
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 12: Divorcing a Narcissist: Family Court and Parental Alienation with Tina Swithin

“What is happening behind closed doors of the family court system would horrify everyone in the country and around the world if they truly knew,” says Tina Swithin, renowned family court advocate, author of the “Divorcing a Narcissist” book series, blogger and owner of One Mom’s Battle, and founder of the High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program. In this episode, Dr. Z and Tina discuss the often deeply flawed family court system, particularly in cases involving high-conflict divorce.
 
Tina sheds light on the dark underbelly of the “alienation industry,” detailing the disturbing practices of reunification camps and the resulting psychological trauma these camps have on children as well as the healthy parent.  
 
Highlighting her ongoing legislative success in banning these camps, Tina emphasizes the continued need for careful documentation, local support networks, and increased advocacy to push for system reform. Dr. Z and Tina provide essential advice and resources for those involved in high-conflict divorces, stressing the importance of awareness, support, and meticulous documentation as they navigate the family court system.
 
Quotes
“The first step towards change is awareness on these topics. We need to be talking about it because there are so many survivors of domestic violence who believe the messaging from society—just be brave, leave. And then they assume that once they step foot into the family court system, that they are going to be protected and that their children are going to be protected. That’s absolutely not what’s happening.” (04:05 | Tina Swithin)
“I think that the family court system is working the way it was designed. A lot of people say it’s broken. It’s like, no, it’s doing what it was designed to do. It has become an industrial complex. It has become an incredibly lucrative industry where it attracts a lot of very unscrupulous professionals, ‘professionals’ who are not there for the right reasons. They’re there for profit. And it should be what is in the child’s best interest.” (05:17 | Tina Swithin)
“The industry that has been created around the thought that two parents are absolutely critical to a child, they’ve created their own industry: reunification industry, alienation industry. By the time I retire, I hope it’s exposed. It will go down in history as the biggest multilevel marketing scheme of our lifetime.” (29:39 | Tina Swithin) 
 
Links
Sign Up for my LIVE Summer Support Group here: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops
 
Connect with Tina Swithin:
One Moms Battle: https://www.onemomsbattle.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onemomsbattle/
X: https://x.com/onemomsbattle
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onemomsbattle
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onemomsbattle?lang=en
Book: https://amzn.to/3VcdjPC
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Episode 11: The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse on Physical Health

“In today’s society, we’re often taught that these are two very separate things,” says Dr. Z as she delves into the impact that narcissistic abuse can have on physical health. “It couldn’t be further from the truth. Our brains and our bodies are one, and you really need to think about yourself in terms of how those two things are connected.”
 
In this episode, Dr. Z highlights how narcissistic abusive relationships can manifest physically within our bodies, leading to chronic conditions such as headaches, joint pain, menstrual cycle changes, high blood pressure, stomach issues, vision changes, hair loss, skin rashes, respiratory infections, and even autoimmune disease flare-ups. There are also a myriad of cognitive issues that can arise such as forgetfulness, poor attention and concentration, difficulty making everyday decisions, and a pervasive sense of fogginess and fatigue. Dr. Z explains how these issues stem from the body’s response to chronic stress resulting in elevated and prolonged spikes in cortisol levels (our stress hormone). While our brains and bodies are equipped to deal with short term stressors, exposure to the long-standing trauma and the stress of narcissistic abuse keeps the body stuck in a constant state of heightened alertness, leading to chronic inflammation and a wide range of long standing health problems.
 
She addresses the challenges many narcissistic abuse survivors face within the medical field, as several of their symptoms appear to have no immediate or identifiable cause. It is not uncommon for abuse survivors to be told that many of their medical complaints are “in their head,” or “just due to stress.”  This often leaves survivors feeling confused and invalidated by medical professionals. 
 
Dr. Z also discusses the limitations of “talk therapy” as a standalone treatment approach for trauma, and strongly advocates for a comprehensive approach that acknowledges physical symptoms with a heavy focus on nervous system regulation. She also stresses the importance of a holistic approach, emphasizing the need to integrate breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, and mindfulness practices into specialized trauma informed therapy. 
 
This episode reassures listeners that their symptoms are normal responses to abnormal situations and offers concrete strategies and tips for those who are experiencing physical health problems resulting from narcissistic abuse in their relationships. 
 
Quotes
“Being in the field of psychology, I was trained to understand that the body and the brain are one. They are not separate entities. And in today’s society, we’re often taught that there are two very separate things: there’s our mind and there’s our body and they do not interact. And it couldn’t be further from the truth.” (02:26 | Dr. Z) 
“Our brains and our bodies are one and you really need to think about yourself in terms of how those two things are connected. To only consider one at a time is really not giving you the full picture and not going to help you understand why it is that your body’s responding a certain way in a narcissistic abusive relationship.” (02:24 | Dr. Z) 
“You are not crazy. In fact, far from. Your body is actually doing what it’s supposed to be doing. The problem is that you’re not being chased by a tiger. You’re in a relationship where you are being coercively controlled, manipulated, and abused. And because of that chronic nature and that cycle of narcissistic abuse, you’re on a dimmer switch. You’re constantly being jolted with these releases of chemicals that are elevating inflammation in your body that are keeping you sick.” (27:56 | Dr. Z) 
“There is a very good reason for why these things are happening. And I promise you that as you gain the strength to leave the narcissistic abusive relationship or to set serious limits and boundaries, you’re going to notice a direct impact on your physical health.” (28:56 | Dr. Z) 
 
Links
 
Sign Up for my LIVE Summer Support Group here: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops
 
Subscribe to my email list for latest news, workshops and more!
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter
 
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm